A Little Bit About Me

A little bit about me…and how I developed my party/food phobia;

I grew up with parents who didn’t entertain much, but when they did, it was perfectly planned, controlled and executed. The air before such a party would be so thick you could cut it with a knife (sorry about the cliche – it just fits so well here!). I was raised to believe that you had to use your best china and silverware for guests, the table had to be set perfectly with candles, flowers and place cards. We would polish the silver with my mom and she would iron the tablecloth and napkins ahead of time.

There were drinks first, with appetizers, then you would sit down to a lovely dinner with one parent at each end of the table. Lively but polite conversation should happen throughout the evening and making that ringing noise with your finger on the rim of a glass or sticking black olives on your fingertips was definitely not allowed, – unfortunately, those were the main things my siblings and I lived for in those days.

A fine dessert and coffee would be served. After the dinner was over and the guests had left, then the clean-up would begin. My mom was a good cook – followed every recipe to a T, but she also left a big wake…the kitchen would look like a hurricane hit somewhere between the main course and dessert! No pot, pan or utensil would escape the ordeal. My dad would try his best to stay ahead of it, but his efforts were futile. Sometime, in the wee hours of the night, the clean-up would be finished. My mom would wash and dry each piece of china by hand along with the silverware. Then each piece of silverware would be carefully counted and put back in its felt coated, air protected, predetermined slot in the china cabinet. She was always afraid someone would accidentally throw a knife or a fork away and then her set of twelve full place settings would be ruined.

Even writing this makes me anxious…those were beautiful dinners, but not achievable given the time constraints we face today (at least for me)…unless of course you have help! Over the years, I came to appreciate my mom and dad’s attention to detail, but I often thought about how much we missed because there was no in between, no better than a regular dinner but more relaxed than the formal party. Had there been a middle-ground, I may have learned to embrace the dinner party, instead of fear it. These days, I enjoy being with family and friends and realize that being stressed out in the kitchen is not the way to spend quality time with those we love or especially with just those we want to get to know better. And so, it’s with this in mind, that I develop my strategy to feel good about setting that extra place at the table, anytime!